


Woah, Dude, That’s Pretty Blushy Crushy (You’re the Pyra to My Rex)

by ohmygoshwhatascream



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Confessions, F/M, I’m back back back again guys, dorks being dorks, love these two so much, poor attempt at humour, shitpost from my garbage head, youll never get rid of me now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-20 14:41:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19993894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmygoshwhatascream/pseuds/ohmygoshwhatascream
Summary: In which Zeke’s confession to Pandy doesn’t really go as planned.





	Woah, Dude, That’s Pretty Blushy Crushy (You’re the Pyra to My Rex)

**Author's Note:**

> We’re back again with another pile of trash 
> 
> I’m going down with this ship and damn right I’m gonna take over these tags with my utter garbage but I love these two so much and I just have to shitpost it out somewhere

“You, Pandoria, are the light of my life! You brighten even the darkest nights - both figuratively and literally!” He pauses momentarily to blink extra hard. It’s supposed to be a wink but, if Pandoria’s being completely honest, it makes him look kinda weird. Like he’s got something in his eye, definitely not the super cool ‘ _ha I made the same joke I’ve been making since I awakened you_ ’ kind of effect he was going for. She wonders absently how many lightbulb jokes he’s made in the last decade. She’s counted 12 from just today. It’s probably in the millions right about now.

“Who needs Elysium when I already have you?”

Okay, that was a pretty good line. She still doesn’t know exactly _why_ he’s pulling all the stops out for this speech, or why he’s giving this speech way more effort than he usually does. She can’t help but feel slightly miffed. He doesn’t go all out like this when they’re having one of their weekly pick-up line competitions. (Something which Nia demands a 24 hour warning to, just so she can brainstorm as many insults and interruptions as possible, which she’ll later use to tell them both how awful and cringe-worthy they are. Friendship with Nia really is a wonderful thing.) Even still, she always enjoys the odd spontaneous act of passion from Zeke, it’s all very ‘ _blushy crushy_ ’ as Tora, a connoisseur of such declarations of love, would say.

She might as well sit back and enjoy the show. It’s quite impressive to actually be watching Zeke use every inch of his charismatic powers. Usually, she’s beside him matching his every move. It’s a nice change to be on the receiving end of this stuff, she doesn’t get front row seats to this shit show very often.

It’s actually kind of like watching a Titan fall, or seeing someone crash their ship into another ship. (She knew Zeke had been lying when he said he knew how to steer a boat!) It’s a disaster, but you just can’t look away. If she’s being honest that’s probably exactly how Mórag would describe their relationship. 

She can see he’s using every bit of his training. The Eye of Shining Justice’s true power hasn’t been unveiled, not yet anyway, but she can see the raw emotion burning in his one visible eye. His poses are perfectly poised, not a single finger out of place and his stance is impeccable - legs just the right distance to portray the maximum amount of desire and romance. She must admit, he’s doing a _stellar_ job.

“You, my dear Pandoria, are the Pyra to my Rex!” Ooh, a good line! She might have to save that one for later use. Preferably when Rex or Pyra are in hearing range. There’s nothing better than watching those two be complete disasters together - it’s her own portable romcom, which is pretty sweet when you’re trying not to get killed by nature. (Seriously? Why do overgrown plants want to crush their bones to dust? _Weird_ , man.)

“You’re the Mórag to my Brighid!” Again, another perfect comparison. She quite likes this one, it makes her feel refined and fancy and very much of the royal and uppity sort. She thinks the comparison is ironic, considering if Mórag heard how Zeke is defacing her totally professional and platonic relationship (they’re not fooling anyone with that schtick) with such words, she’d probably try to push him off a cliff.

Her ears are perked up and she finds herself excited to hear his next proclamation of his undying love.

“You are the spice to Addam’s Embercakes!” Ah, okay. She’s losing him a bit. That was a weak line, if she’s being honest. Not awful, just horribly mediocre. A bit weird, really. She doesn’t know if she likes being compared to food. It is his favourite though, so she’ll let it slide this time.

“You’re the Ultimate Lightning to my Fury Slash!” Oh dear. He’s lost it now. She hopes he stops with these stupid comparisons, they’re only going to get worse from here.

“You’re the-“ _Architect_ , she’s going to have to intervene. She hates to disturb his stride, but her poor driver is losing the plot and she vowed to protect him from tragedies such as this. It is her duty to save him from this dark hole he’s digging himself into.

“Alright! I get it, my prince. If you’re going to compliment me, can you _please_ do a better job.”

For a second, he looks affronted. Pandoria fears the worst. Maybe her outburst has ruined his speech? Oh, he was doing so well too! Sure, he was kind of dipping a bit but she was only trying to help. Just get him back on the right track and back to swoon city.

However, her fears are quickly shattered as he changes his approach, pose altering to suit a more peaceful demeanour. While still retaining some of his prior expression, his gaze of burning passion softens with just a hint of sweet love. He’s been practicing this one, she can tell. That’s probably why he’s been spending so much time with Pyra and Rex. They always look kind of lovesick whenever they’re in a ten foot radius of one another.

It’s a good look on him, makes her feel a bit lightheaded.

“My dearest Pandoria, you are perfect in every way. Like Turters, you are irreplaceable.” That line shouldn’t be so amazing yet she definitely felt something weird churn up in her stomach. It feels a bit like love. He’s exploiting her adoration for Turters and it’s working. Damn him! He knows her every weakness.

“You’re kind of similar, when you think about it. You’re both pretty small. And green! You’ve got that whole green vibe going on.” Yeah, he’s ruined it. She shoots him an icy glare, a warning for him to stop before she accidentally-on-purpose Stratospheric Thunders him into the air.

“Uh- that is to say- you’re... what I really meant is you’re the most important person in my life!” Eh, not the best recovery, but it’s a whole three seconds faster than last time, so _at the very least_ he is improving.

“Ever since I first resonated with you, when I first saw you appear before me, glowing like an angel, I knew that our love was written in the stars.”

“My prince, you were, like, _fifteen_ when you resonated with me. Isn’t that kinda creepy?”

“Hush, Pandy! Details, details! What I’m trying to say is that our love is destined. It is fate that we are together!” He’s tying things up now, she can tell because he’s getting ever so closer to her and his eye is burning with something that grows only softer and more tender with each flustered breath she takes. He’s got her wrapped around his little finger, not that she would ever change such a thing. She’s totally into this, even if she pretends she’s not.

“I have tiptoed around such matters for far too long. I feel like we should become something more, Pandy. Partners! Partners in love, in life!” He grasps her hands with his own, bringing them up higher as he twirls her around. She plays along, only because his speech has basically turned her into a pile of emotional mush because _wow she kinda really loves him._

Still... there’s something about his words that don’t quite sit right.

“My prince, are you asking me out?”

He scowls down at her, rolling his eyes. “I prefer the term ‘declaring my utmost love and adoration for my gorgeous companion’, but I suppose that is what I’m doing.”

She frowns, brow furrowed as she looks up at him. Did he hit his head earlier or something?

“Uh, my prince... haven’t we been dating for, like... five years?”

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to people on the discord server bc they helped a lot and made me laugh loads while trying to write this shit!
> 
> If any of y’all reading this, thanks so much! X
> 
> (Feel free to leave a kudos to validate my existence guys)


End file.
